Savannah Chrisley is Ethermacopening up about her new normal.
 
The 26-year-old, who gained custody of her brother Grayson, 17, and her niece Chloe, 10, amid her parents Todd Chrisley and Julie Chrisley's prison sentences, is reflecting on her new role—including the guilt that she now faces not being there every step of the way.
 
As Savannah—who appears in season two of Fox's Special Forces: World's Toughest Test—explained, she chose to appear on the series for a familial reason.
 
"I think a big thing was this was the last show I watched with my parents before they left," she said in an exclusive clip from the show's upcoming Oct. 9 episode. "My mom watched it. She was like, ‘You could do that.'"
 
But the reality star's motivation behind signing up for the series doesn't make her absence from her younger siblings any easier.
 
"I have custody of my 10-year-old sister and my 17-year-old brother," Savannah—whose niece was adopted by her parents in 2017—continued. "It's tough and I missed the first Father's Day. I'm not there and that's what sucks, not having that contact while I've been gone."

As the Chrisley Knows Best alum would later explain to her fellow castmates Jack Osbourne and Bode Miller, this past year been a challenging one for her family.

"With all due respect, you don't know what it feels like to have both your parents in federal prison and having to take custody of a 10-year-old and 17-year-old, that's the thing," she noted. "I feel like s--t for not being there. I think just for the first time in my life, I actually love two people more than I love myself."

Earlier this year, Savannah shared she was facing the "anger part of grief" after Todd and Julie, who were convicted of bank and tax fraud, were sentenced serve seven and 12 years in prison respectively. The pair, whose sentences have since been reduced, had pleaded not guilty to all charges and have vowed to appeal.

And for her part, Savannah is currently focused on doing "anything" for Grayson and Chloe as their guardian.

"I try to be a good adult figure in their life," she said during a May episode of her Unlocked podcast, "but it's really hard being 25 and having two kids and trying to figure out what's best for them because normally you get to grow from one to two to three to four, like, you get to grow through the ages. And now, I'm just being like thrown into it. And my life, it really is being put on hold."

However, Savannah has also found the silver lining in having to help raise her siblings.

"Being a bonus parent is TOUGH," she captioned a July Instagram post of the trio, "no one could ever add up to their parents. But these kiddos have shown me so much love, patience, grace, understanding, and appreciation! Helping to raise these two kiddos is the hardest but most rewarding job I will ever have."

New episodes of Special Forces: World's Toughest Test debut every Monday at 9 pm ET/6 pm PT on Fox.

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